BEHAVIOUR, DISCIPLINE AND BULLYING AND BITING POLICIES.
SUPPORTING CHILDREN WHO ARE EXPERIENCING LOSS OR CHANGE IN THEIR LIVES
Managing Behaviour Policy
Promoting positive behaviour is very important and we do this by:
*Giving lots of praise for good behaviour.
*Giving the children individual attention so they feel valued.
*Setting a good example, being a good role model.
*Listening to what the children have to say.
*Rewarding good behaviour (choosing next activity etc).
We help the children understand our house rules, which are realistic and we are consistent in the enforcing of them.
We do not give out confusing signals, Saying No means No!
We are aware of the different reasons why children misbehave and will endeavour to keep to routines so that your child feels safe and is not over tired or hungry.
However all children will misbehave at some time.
We have developed several different strategies on how to deal with a child misbehaving and use different ones depending on the age/stage of ability of the child and the situation:
*Distraction. Remove the child from the situation and give them an alternative activity.
*Ignore. Depending on the situation we may ignore the bad behaviour if we feel it is being done to get a reaction.
*Discuss with Child. If the child is able to understand we will discuss their behaviour and try and get them to appreciate the consequences of their actions on others. We inform them that it is their behaviour we do not like, not them.
* ‘Take 5’. This is a chair, situated in the same room, where after one warning the child is placed.
They are asked to sit in the chair and, whilst at their level, it is discussed with them what lead them to be there.
We then ask them to repeat back the reason, to show understanding of their actions.
(Example…… We don’t take toys off other people, it’s not nice and it upsets them, you don’t like it when people take things you’re playing with do you? So why are you sat here?
Then they are left for 5 minutes – they are not excluded and can still see and listen to what is happening in the room, and after their 5 minutes they are free to then join in).
As we don’t want to work in isolation, it would prove extremely useful if this system was continued in home situations so it will be discussed and explained
We will never smack, shake or hurt your child. We will not humiliate your child.
If a child misbehaves we will let you know by either writing it in their contact book or by ringing you later after collection. Some children can become upset if the incident is retold in front of them. We will also inform you of how the matter was dealt with.
If you have any concerns regarding the managing of your child’s behaviour, please do not hesitate to contact us.
It is important that we work together on managing behaviour in order not to confuse your child.
We will not permit any form of bullying in our home
Bullying can be:
*Physical: pushing, kicking, hitting, biting etc
*Verbal: Name-calling, sarcasm, rumour spreading and teasing
*Emotional: Excluding, ridicule, humiliation, tormenting
*Racist: taunts, graffiti and gestures
Being bullied can result in the victim having depression, low self-esteem, shyness, poor academic achievement, isolation and in extreme cases threatened or attempted suicide.
If a bully is left unchecked they will learn they can get away with violence and aggression.
A bully has a higher chance of acquiring a criminal record and not being able to have good relationships when they become an adult.
If we have any concerns that a child in our care is being bullied at (pre-) school or is bullying, we will discuss the matter with you immediately. We will work with you to support your child to resolve the problem.
If your child is being bullied:
*We will reassure them that the bullying is not their fault.
*Tell them that I care about them and am 100% on their side.
*We will give them lots of praise, encouragement and responsibilities to help them feel valued.
*We will work with you to help the child to develop techniques to deal with the bully- assertiveness, walking away etc.
If your child is the bully:
*We will reassure your child that we still care about them but it is their behaviour I don’t like and we will work with them to help change this.
*We will work with your child to find ways to make amends for their actions.
*We will develop a reward structure for good behaviour.
*We will discuss the matter with you, not in front of your child, to see if there are any problems that may have triggered the bullying.
If you have any concerns regarding your child please discuss them with us as soon as possible.
It is much better to deal with these problems before they become major issues.
POLICY ON BITING
Biting can be an uncomfortable subject for parents of both the biter and the child who is bitten. We hope that this policy will explain how we deal with biting in our home.
Please do discuss any concerns you may have regarding this issue with me.
If your child is known to bite we would prefer to know in advance.
Children bite for a variety of reasons. This may be because they are teething, frustrated, exploring using their mouth, asserting their independence and wanting to gain control, maybe of a toy or they could be stressed. It may also be because they want to gain attention.
We will work with you and your child to establish when and why they are biting. We will observe the child closely to see if certain conditions or situations trigger the behaviour and then work with them to try and avoid the incidents occurring. This may involve altering the child’s routine, giving them more one to one attention, purchasing additional resources so sharing is not such a major issue or if it is because a child is teething provide suitable teething resources.
We will ensure that if a child is bitten that they are comforted and given lots of attention. We will ensure that any first aid is applied correctly if required and the incident will be recorded in our book and parents asked to sign it.
If your child bites then we will remove them from the situation. We will explain to them, according to their age and understanding that biting is unacceptable behaviour. For younger child this may be by tone of voice and facial expressions rather than lots of words. It may be necessary for us to exclude the child from an activity and use ‘time out’ until they are calm enough to return. We will also encourage the child to apologise to the child they have bitten and work with them to develop strategies to help them deal with the reasons.
Many children go through a stage of biting, please don’t be alarmed it doesn’t last forever!
Coping with change, such as parents getting divorced, or loss, such as the death of a relative or a family pet, can be very difficult for a child to cope with and they may display their emotions in a variety of ways.
As professional child carers, we will work with you to support you child through any difficult times they may encounter. We are aware that different religions and cultures have differing rituals and attitudes towards death and divorce so will be guided by parents and family wishes.
We are willing to support your child by:
Encouraging your child to ask questions and answer them to the best of our ability, honestly and simply using language and words that are age appropriate.
Talking with the child about the person/animal who has died
Offering to listen to the child, so they can share their thoughts and emotions in a safe and caring environment with a familiar and sympathetic adult
Observing the child and noting any concerns or changes to their play and interaction with others and sharing these with you
Finding appropriate ways for the child to become involved in remembering the person/animal, for example a memory box or jar.
Regularly discussing with you how your child is coping, however this will not be in front of the child, so we may need to arrange to meet in the evenings or discuss the matter over the telephone.
Ensuring that the other children who attend understand (according to their age) that the child is more sensitive at the moment and may need to be given more space or support.
Sometimes children need professional counselling to help them deal with their loss or adjust to a major change. We are happy to support you and your child by signposting you to the services available.
We have found the following websites useful:
If you wish to discuss any concerns you have regarding this policy or your child’s emotional welfare, please do not hesitate to contact us.